I like to think I would’ve enjoyed being born in the 30’s or 40’s. How simple things seemed to be, how people dressed, and how inexpensive everything was. That all seems wonderful to me; but then I remember they didn’t have iPhones or Twitter back then and I quickly change my mind.
Actually, now that I think about it, what I like most about those years are the movies. In films from that era, men seemed to know how to treat women. Doors were opened, chairs were pulled, and hands were softly kissed—it all seems so lovely. And yet, watching Mad Men ruins the belief as a whole. Thanks a lot, Draper!
Regardless of how things really were, the truth remains that women deserve to be treated special. As I stated in Part 1 of this guide, I believe I know how to treat a lady, and even though my “expertise” comes at a price (failed relationships aplenty HI-OH!), I think it’s important to share such specific knowledge.
Forthwith, I’d like to present to you Part 2 of my guide on “How to Make Her Feel Special”. Most of these will seem rather simple, but women appreciate a simple gesture if it’s done with the right motives.
Okay, here we go:
Hold Her Hand I’m going to tell you a secret, but you can’t tell my girlfriend: I do not like holding hands. I KNOW, RIGHT? But it’s nothing to do with the girl; it’s because my hands get sweaty pretty easily. What girl likes to get sweat dripped on her (don’t answer that)? However, holding hands with a female shows her that you’re there for her, that you’re acknowledging her presence, and most important of all, that you’re proud to be seen with her. Hold her hand unexpectedly (in a non-creepy way) and I guarantee she’ll smile. Do it to it.
Take Pictures with Her Most dudes grimace at the thought of having their pictures taken. Why? Because we don’t enjoy being seen doing feminine things and having your picture taken is considered as such. But, if you’ll pose with her when she asks, not only will she be happy because you did as you were told (don’t try to deny it, women), but it’ll show her that you don’t mind being captured in a moment with her for forever. It’ll mean something special to her and that in turn, will make her feel special. Win/win.
Make Her Something Any schmuck can buy things with money. But giving her something you made with your own two hands? She’ll melt right there on the spot. And that, my friend, is a good thing. Plus, you don’t want to be the guy who inspires the next Taylor Swift-esque hit song, “He Never Made Me Nothin’ (And So the Tears Fall on My Mandolin)”. It’s coming…just don’t be the guy that causes it. Please. I’m begging you.
Send Her Flowers Where People Can See Her Get Them Women like to feel superior to other women (they can deny it all they want but it’s true and they know it). So if you make a point of sending flowers to her at work or school, other women have to sit there and watch her be fawned over by her sweet boyfriend/guy-she’s-talking-to/guy-who-wants-to-be-more-but-she’s-not-sure-how-she-feels-about-him-just-yet, and this is an incredible feeling for her. She can pretend to be humble like, “OMG, he’s such a sweetheart!” when she’s really thinking, “SUCK IT, LADIES BWAAHAHAHA!” (this will probably cause a keying of my car, but I stand by my beliefs. I regret nothing.)
Introduce Her to Your Parents and/or Friends It’s rather simple: females like to feel appreciated and worthy of praise. A super easy way to do that? Introduce her to the people you care about. Let her meet your parents, have her hangout with you and your friends, or take her to church/your AA meeting. This lets her know that not only do you care about her, but you’re proud of the woman she is—proud enough to let the people in your life know that she’s with you. This will do wonders for the relationship…unless your mom hates her. Then you’ve got problems and we need to talk about extradition to Cuba or something.
These 5 simple tips should do the trick in making your lady friend feel special. If they don’t, either she’s REALLY hard to please or you shouldn’t be listening to a guy who once bought a girl a brush with a built in mirror as a birthday gift (I was 13 but still…).
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I love you with all of my heart. I promise to be the best husband and dad you could ever ask for! I will treat you like you are the only woman in the world every day you wake up. You deserve the entire world and I want to be the one to give it to you. I cant wait to wake up every morning with you sleeping on my chest. I love you so much, babe. You have no idea!
I have just discovered that waiting and being patient are not the same things. While I wait for you, I will try to remember that “it does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live.” I will try to be happy and content and joyful instead of pine or be envious. I pray that God can help you to be patient too.
After my divorce, I didn’t think my heart could love again. But then God gave me a promise: you. I’ve been waiting for you for two and a half years, and I can only hope that you’re somewhere out there, waiting for me too.
I want you to know that you’re going to get through this. If I didn’t know this was true, I wouldn’t be sticking around. You make me laugh, you respect me, you’re honest and compassionate and yet you are still so hard on yourself. I want you to know how awesome you are… and I’m gonna keep telling you that until you believe me.
It’s no secret that I’ve had my (and your) fair share of relationships. I’ve been a husband, a boyfriend, a lover, and a plaything (not all at once, mind you…). I’ve fought for relationships that didn’t want to be saved, and I’ve given up on couplings that maybe just needed more effort. I’ve broken hearts and I’ve had my heart broken. Yet, as I look back over what went wrong during those times, a certain gleam of something relative and familiar catches my eye. It’s not that there wasn’t attraction or chemistry—the opposite is usually true. No, instead, one related seam runs through the entirety of my relationships: regardless if it was their fault or mine, I was hardly ever allowed to be myself.
Looking back, it’s easy for me to place blame wherever I please. It makes me look better if it was her fault and not mine. But the truth is, often times, I would change who I was to accommodate a female simply so she would like me. She didn’t ask me to do this, nor did she encourage it, but nevertheless, I was a contrite version of myself—some far-flung caricature of what I could or should be. It wasn’t right. In all honesty, it was a lie. Yet, in other instances, I wasn’t enough for her and the desires she held for a partner. As said in A Knight’s Tale, “You have been weighed, you have been measured, and you have been found wanting. Come back when you’re worthy.” It wasn’t easy to feel such rejection, but that fateful tossing away eventually led me to a place where I am found happy and content—a place where I am accepted.
The truth is this: though we want companionship and a lasting forever with someone, it is in our best interest to find someone who will accept us for who we are, for who we will always be. This belief seems elementary, yet enough relationships have floundered simply because one partner or the other was found to be inadequate. Is it because a charade was perpetrated? Perhaps. In a time when rejection is felt deepest, it’s simply too easy for us to pretend to be someone we are not—someone we believe will be more readily accepted and even loved.
I can say with certainty that I am finally in a relationship where I am encouraged to be who I am and to do so fully. She understands that I like stupid movies and a dirty joke every now and then. She supports my wanting to write full time (something that was harshly discouraged in former relationships) and she understands that there’s a bit of madness to me; a madness that requires time to myself every now and again. Part of this relational success is because she’s a wonderful woman, while the other part is my coming to the realization that I deserve someone who wants me for me; nothing more, nothing less.
It’s imperative to remember that although a relationship is a nice enough complement to our life, it isn’t the end all, be all of our existence…especially if having a relationship means changing who we are to meet the expectations of another. It’s in that weakening of our self-worth when mistakes are made and hearts can be broken.
More than ever before, be who you are, and rightfully require that a potential partner accept you fully. With that solidified fortitude, a fulfilled forever is not only possible, but readily available.
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"I need someone who understands. I need someone, someone who hears, For you, I’ve waited all these years. For you, I’d wait ‘til kingdom come. Until my day, my day is done. And say you’ll come, and set me free, Just say you’ll wait, you’ll wait for me.”
Distance and time makes a heart grow fonder. Living several hours apart makes me thankful for the little amount of time we have together, and look forward to holidays even more! I am anxious for the day that we live in the same city again because my smile will light up the state of Texas!
I think you’re incredible. You’re sweet, thoughtful, kind, and slow to anger. You define unconditional love. You pick me up when I’m feeling down and you are such a tender soul. I cannot wait to get married to you, to create a family with you, to eventually grow old with you.
As crazy as it sounds, I want you to take your time getting to me. My relationship with God needs a lot of work , and I don’t want you coming into my life until I know that I’m 100% ready for you. I can’t wait for you, but at the same time, I can and I will.
I wish you could’ve met my grandfather. He was an amazing man who was effortlessly cool like James Dean or Kerouac’s Moriarty. He worked tirelessly in the oil fields for over thirty years, and did so with a proud but quiet dignity. He wasn’t a complainer, nor was he lazy. My grandpa was a man I can proudly call “hero”. He gave continuously to his job, his church, his family, and—especially—his wife; doting on her and loving her with everything he was as a man and a provider. When I sit and consider the true love every one of us hopes to experience, the way my grandfather loved my grandmother is what comes to my mind. If there ever were soulmates, they were it.
And that’s why I feel torn. The intellectual side of me realizes that there are over 6 billion people in the world, so the belief that there is exactly one person for me and exactly one person for you seems almost impossible. The numbers do not support the theory. It’s all too random. But then, I turn romantic and deeply want to believe that only one woman can complete me the way I desire; only one woman can give me all that I need, and I to her in return. That seems lovely and rather perfect, I suppose. That true love exists for me and only her, is something which sparks the imagination and heightens the senses of the soul.
And yet, what of those who never marry? Was their disappointment in never being married simply their own fault for not being in the right place at the right time? Are those people really punished and destined to lead a less-than-happy existence simply because they never happened to meet the one person who could bring the happiness of true, everlasting love? I can’t bring myself to accept that either.
Perhaps love is a gamble we take. Perhaps soulmates don’t really exist, but the closest thing to it can be the connection you feel with the one person who “gets” you. Maybe our choosing to be with that person, to be theirs and only theirs for as long as either of us is breathing, is as close to having a soulmate as we’ll ever get. Perhaps love is a choice we make. Perhaps love is not found in a person, but rather a journey we take with another.
Do soulmates exist? Honestly, I don’t know. But love does.
And maybe that’s enough.
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My roommate’s fiance broke up with her today. They’ve been together four years, and everyone thought they would be together forever. They were going through some rough things, and he basically couldn’t handle any more and gave up. Now she is in pieces, and I don’t know how to comfort her… It almost doesn’t seem real. When we find each other, I hope that we both realize that fighting for us will be worth it. Even when the truth hurts, nothing should ever be strong enough to make us consider giving up on each other. I’m hoping and praying for that.