My friend’s boyfriend said of my friend to the small group he leads, “In past relationships I thought what I had was good. I had no idea what good really was until I started dating her.” I know this will be true of you too. Nothing will prepare me for how good it will be with you.
I will wait for you for as long as you need until you are ready to believe that I will never leave you.
They say you just know when it’s right. I can’t wait to just know about you.
To my future husband,
If we’re being honest, I’m not entirely sure you exist. See, I have this calling that may actually guarantee that you don’t. Recently though, I’ve begun to wonder if that’s just something I’ve told myself out of fear. Not about my calling-that is absolutely from God-but about the permanence of it.
Believe it or not, I used to dream about you. I prayed for you. A couple of times, I thought I’d actually found you. Eventually, though, the dreams grew dim. I grew weary of praying. And I had enough false alarms to convince me to take the batteries out of my “potential husband detector.” I figured it was defective at that point, and in hindsight, I was probably right. After the last false alarm, God presented my call to singleness. At first I received it with trepidation, then with joy. I threw myself into it with reckless abandon.
Now I dreamed of other things; of mothering orphans, of feeding villages, of bringing desperately needed relief and the hope of Jesus to the farthest corners of the earth. What’s more, I convinced myself that even entertaining the notion of you was a dangerous distraction. I held to the firmest of beliefs that any life including you would be a shadow of what it could be without you. I thought that I (and the world I hoped to leave an impact on) was better off never meeting you. I persuaded myself that marriage to you would be fraught with disappointment, difficulty, and absolutely unbearable sex. My love, I actually believed that I didn’t want you. I even prayed that if you were out there, God would send you to someone else.
It’s not your fault. I’m sure if you actually exist, you’re quite wonderful. It’s the fault of others who came before you, who took my body by force and my heart by manipulation and did extensive damage to both. It’s my fault, for not guarding my heart and keeping it pure for you. It’s the fault of my own insecurity and pride, turning myself against the very thought of you because of what others did. I took a calling that God meant to be for a season and tried to convince Him to make it a lifetime. In doing this, I have sinned against you, and I am so sorry.
I have to tell you, though, I’m on this thing called the World Race, and I’m learning so much. I’m learning better communication, and overcoming insecurities, and how to grocery shop and cook decent meals for once in my life. I’m learning how to love others (and myself) better and how to take better care of my body (It’s a temple, you know). Even more, I’m learning how to love God better, how to seek Him diligently, and coming into the woman He created me to be. And I wonder sometimes if this is part of what He’s using to make me ready for you. Dear one, if you had met me a year ago, a month ago…maybe even if you met me now…I don’t think we’d be right for each other. Not yet. Not to mention that up until recently (let’s not talk about how recent) I was sure you weren’t real.
But then I read this blog that a man had written to His future wife. A passionate, sweet, romantic reminder that men like him–like you–exist. It called to something deep within me. Something I thought had died and grown cold, without hope of revival. Whatever it is, it flickered. Hope? Oh, my love, someday I’ll be able to explain to you why that word means so much to me and why just typing it out, seeing it on my computer screen, makes me certain that you’re out there…and that I will be meeting you soon. Make no mistake; I’m afraid, so afraid to meet you and to hope for you and to pray (again) for you, but I know you’re going to be worth it.
When we do meet, I know that it will be when the both of us have reached the end of what God can do through us alone. I know we’ll be better together than we are apart, complementing each other’s callings and pushing each other towards the One who has called us. I know I’ll be a more mature, more healed, more capable version of me than I am now, and I know that I will be ready to love you. Even then, though, I beg you not to lose heart; it will probably take some serious prayer (on both our parts) and some hardcore pursuit (on your part) and some definite confirmation (on God’s part). I promise it will be okay. He and I have an understanding, so I know you’ll be up to the challenge.
Love always (and for the rest of my life),
Your future wife, who finally believes
Never the Ugly Duckling (by Cassi Clerget) -
We wait for some sort of “Ugly Duckling Transformation”. We look at ourselves today and see the ugly duckling reflected back at us. We are weird and awkward and simply not enough. But, we tell ourselves, if we wait long enough, we will become the swan. We will turn into this amazing new person, and then everything will fall into place. We will make our dreams come true and meet the right person and fall in love and live happily ever after. We buy into this ugly duckling myth and wait for a fairytale, forgetting that this is real life and it is happening now and you are always the swan.
I thought I had found you. I was wrong of course, as I usually am with these things. But it took me awhile to realize it and accept it. I wasn’t ready to let him go. Then you came along. You were so very different from what I had thought you would look like, and yet you are everything my heart has longed for. You are the man I’ve always dreamed about, even if I didn’t always know what you would look like or sound like. And I am blessed to have found you, I hope you know that. I cannot wait to love you and hold you for the rest of our lives.
I know you’re with her, but I can’t forget moments when you look at me and I can feel your eyes burning through my soul. You see past it all, I know you can see through the smiles and the laughter. You see I am alone and wanting you. I know you see that because that’s what I see when I look at you. I have loved you from the first moment our eyes met, our souls are bound to be one. My heart will forever burn for you, you ignited a fire that I will never put out. Everything I do is for you and only you. I will love you until I have no more breath in my lungs. I tell you this now because I can’t imagine life without you, l can’t imagine a time I won’t see your cross grin every time our eyes meet. I long to be yours until I am called to eternity.
I will love you immensely for the rest of my life.
We haven’t met yet but you are the love of my life. You are the one who I have been waited for.
You are the one that I plan to ask about your day. When it is a great day, I plan to shoot your smile and can’t wait to hear all about it. If it is a bad day, I plan to give you a kiss and tell you it is only one day, then do what I can do turn it around even for a moment. Because in that moment when your smile pokes through, it is the highlight of my day no matter what. It is your smile that makes me fall in love with you again and again.
You are the one I want to dance with in an empty of the field to sounds of crickets with the stars as our light. You are my end game. The one that fairy tales were written about.
All of my life, I have been moving, from house to house, to city to city, country to country. Whenever I was asked what my home was, I frequently deferred to others to decide. I found that home was more of a state of mind than an actual place. Home has been with friends and family. I have always cherished the moments with them, as they are my home. But now I make you my family, my home.
Thank you for the times we will have together,
Your future husband
I know I’m not your first for anything, but can I be your last for everything?
I wish you’d come on already. I’m getting tired of these men who judge me before they get to know me, who take my number and don’t call, who put in all this effort in the beginning just to drop me, who don’t know what they want. Deep down I know I don’t have the cooties, but I’ve got this magic wrong man repellant that is making way for righteous you! See you soon.
I can’t wait to be your Elizabeth Bennett, and for you to be my Mr. Darcy.
I can’t wait for the nights when we miss the movie time. Instead of sitting in a darkened theater watching someone else’s love story, we’ll be outside living our own.
I can’t wait for us to help each other strengthen our relationship with Jesus, to pray together, to serve together, to love together.
I can’t wait to make dinner with you. If it turns out horribly, we’ll order Vietnamese takeout.
I can’t wait to take care of you when you’re sick, for you to take care of me when I’m sick, and for us to attempt to take care of each other when we’re both sick.
I can’t wait to do life together.
Please wait for me and know that I am waiting for you - physically and emotionally.
Your Future Wife
There will be tickle fights. And pillow forts.
Let’s take the long way home.
The world keeps telling me to find the best guy I can and not let him go. It tells me to go to bars and find a hottie to hook up with. It tells me that I’m not ok if I’m single.
Here is the thing, I don’t think you want a desperate lady. And I think I’m more than ok right now. I’m chasing my dreams instead of cute faces. I want you when we both know who we are enough to not try and fix each other.
I want you. Just you. Flaws and all.
Your future wife
Let’s elope. Just one day get up and get married. It’s a lot cheaper than a big fancy occasion… besides, I wanna see the look on everybody’s faces when we announce our marriage. I love you.